Take Good Care of Yourself When You Do Well AND When You Fall Short

“Kindness is choosing love over hate, light over darkness, compassion over judgment.” ~Raktivist

One of the things well-nigh stuff “good” (and for me that includes things like patience, kindness, and stuff agreeable) is that people seem things well-nigh me. They think I’m unchangingly patient, I unchangingly make the right decisions, and I’m an spherical unconfined person.

Well, I’m not unchangingly anything—except human. And that ways I make mistakes, big ones even. This week I did NOT set an example of perfection. I had a moment when I became the word-for-word opposite: loud and emotional. I melted down.

Why did this happen?

The wordplay was my lesson.

It came to me during my apology: I didn’t take superintendency of myself. I made no time to decompress, to slow down, to outbreathe and recenter.

When I’m run down, everyone feels it. And when I’m full, everyone feels it. It’s not an excuse for my behavior; it’s sensation that is teaching me how my needs fit into the equation of life.

That one question led me lanugo a rabbit hole. All week I stayed curious. Why did this happen?? And all week, I kept getting answers.

It happens considering when you’re perfect, good, and strong, other people think you can handle anything considering you normally handle everything. But the truth is that stuff seen this way makes it nonflexible to ask for help.

It happens considering you don’t want to let people down.

It happens considering you’re taught that if you’re not giving, you’re taking.

It happens considering you’re taught to believe that everyone else’s needs are just a little increasingly important than yours.

It happens considering you believe that you need to do it “all” considering it’s proof that you’re worthy (of love, space, time… you name it).

It happens considering everything your family, culture, and society teach you revolves virtually giving.

And there’s nothing wrong with giving. But if you don’t learn how to receive, you’ll end up burned out, overworked, and underwhelmed with your life. Instead of giving with love and joy, you’ll requite from a place of frustration and resentment.

Receiving is how you get to keep giving. It’s the part of the puzzle no one teaches us about. It’s the missing piece that we write-up ourselves up over, judging and criticizing ourselves for not stuff worldly-wise to be everything for everyone.

Whether it’s boundaries, food, sleep, work, or family, we believe we’re lacking some quality that’s the wordplay to how we can meet our own needs without guilt. Like the worthiness to be nice to ourselves is a personality trait we don’t possess.

But there’s nothing wrong with any of us. We’ve all just been practicing some old, unhelpful habits.

Lately, I’ve been wondering what happens when you start practicing constructive habits instead of treasonous ones.

So I gave it a try.

This time, without my meltdown, I unprotected myself mid-act and saw it as opportunity to take superintendency of myself by stuff kind to myself.

I paused, picked myself up, and turned things around. I apologized, checked-in, and plane found a win. Imperfection, as ugly as it can look, holds the endangerment for connection when we winnow ourselves instead of judging ourselves. All that judging and shaming is so distracting from the one goal we all want—to be happy.

I’ve noticed constructive habits alimony offering me insight from somewhere deep inside. I don’t know if it’s intuitive knowledge or universal wisdom. Either way, it supports me and my loved ones. My response to my own deportment ended up stuff the example I want to set.

What if this could happen every time we messed up or mis-stepped? What if instead of telling ourselves something like, I unchangingly yell or I never say the right thing, we ask ourselves a question? Instead of stuff midpoint to ourselves, we get curious…

Ask, why did this happen?

What kind of insight might this lead to? And what doors does it unshut up for us? Certainly, we will make mistakes then in the future, but what if we made new ones instead of the same ones over and over again? What if our compassion unliable us to evolve?

It’s taken me a long time to finger like making mistakes is winning and plane longer to finger well-appointed sharing them. But of all the lessons, this is one of the biggies. Take good superintendency of yourself when you do well AND when you fall short.

You will make mistakes. You will be wrong sometimes. But you can say sorry. You can forgive yourself. You can learn. You can hold the lesson tropical to your heart and still move forward.

You can stop judging yourself and replaying your lowest moments. Guilt, embarrassment, and self-loathing are not unconfined motivators, but unconfined ruminators that alimony us stuck.

Getting unstuck is our greatest rencontre and how we evolve. Imperfection isn’t your flaw. It’s your opportunity to grow.

We’re all largest at triumphal our wins than we are at finding the gold veiled in our losses. But I believe that’s a new habit worth developing. Building this new muscle has the power to move us yonder from the toxic and lonely nature of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and regret.

Take good superintendency of yourself.

It’s how to wits the life you want.

It’s how to have deep, meaningful, and lasting relationships.

It’s how to unzip and finger good.

Take good superintendency of yourself—so you don’t get burned out and so you don’t waste your limited energy getting lanugo on yourself.

It has the greatest positive ripple effect you can create in the world.